Do you have the luxury of giving up hope that enables you to keep dreaming? This luxury is exactly what some girls do not have, so they sought to carry out egg freezing operations so that their dream of achieving motherhood would remain alive in which life pulsates. They found that time is their enemy that robs them of the dream. It would make the dream of motherhood impossible, so they resorted to freezing the dream, or more precisely, freezing the eggs, until it is time for fertilization and they get the child they wish for.
The process of egg freezing is a method used to preserve the ability of women to become pregnant in the future. During this process, eggs are extracted from the woman’s ovaries and frozen unfertilized and saved for later use. When the time comes when a woman wants to conceive, the frozen egg can be thawed and fertilized with sperm in a lab and then implanted in the woman’s uterus, during a process known as artificial insemination. (1)
Every month I lose an egg every month is my unborn child, every month on this date, I stand in front of my mirror, touch my stomach, I tell my child who is not yet inside me, that I was waiting for him this time too, and I am still waiting for him, and I will not stop waiting for him, Every menstrual cycle is a sign of delaying the dream for another month. It is a favorable opportunity to achieve the dream of my life, but I lost it. This way of thinking hurts me, but I cannot stop this monthly cycle of thoughts in my head. Thus, the girl in her thirties, “Nisreen.A”, a pseudonym, began her conversation with “Maidan”.
Nisreen is a girl from a wealthy family. She graduated from a foreign university in the Egyptian capital. After her graduation, she worked in an international company. Nisreen realizes that all the advantages in her life are things that she obtained as soon as she was born without much effort, thanks to her prestigious family that ensured her a standard of living like a dream for millions. of people. Her family also chose for her daughter to receive a special kind of education, and gave her the opportunity to travel, to obtain whatever certificates she wanted in her field of specialization, everything was too fine, except for one thing, a wish in her heart since she began to reach the age of femininity, she was She wants to become a mother, she does not want to be just a cog in the machine of capitalist companies, because she knows very well that if she leaves her position in her workplace, the next day dozens of people will stand at the door who want to sit in her place.
Nisreen tells Meydan: “I am tired of the mechanism, the mechanism of work and development and the pursuit of a moving goal that you never reach. I am even tired of all kinds of feelings that I have experienced throughout my life, the feelings of my parents, who saw that they had done what they had to do and an increase in the quality of life that they provided us with.” Me and my brother, I only see my father for a few hours, maybe I don’t see him at all for many months, my mother, despite her emptiness, I do not feel that she is really with me, and I only see in her eyes what is missing from you? And it wears me down, I want unblemished love, pure, pure, love that doesn’t care only about fulfilling duties to the fullest, this love that I know very well that I will only get from my child, my child who will depend on me completely in all aspects of his life, my child who will fill His eyes in me without a partner, to derive safety, warmth and love, but my child does not come, because I do not find his father, I searched a lot, but every time there is something missing, something big missing that cannot be overlooked, and I still despite everything my family achieved, and achieved it with my studies My work, I wait.”
Nisreen heard from one of her co-workers about the process of freezing the eggs, which attracted her full attention. She told herself that perhaps if she did this, she would be able to reduce the psychological pain she was experiencing. She would be able to feel that her dream of motherhood was preserved in an indestructible frozen position, just as she would be frozen. her ovaries. Nisreen says, “I did it just to get relief from that monthly psychological pain with every missing egg. I might get married tomorrow, maybe everything will go completely normal and have my baby without needing my frozen eggs. I just tried to do this operation to get rid of heartbreak Missed opportunities, there is nothing worse than seeing that the chances of achieving the dream of your life are lost before your eyes again and again.
The process of egg freezing is somewhat complicated (2), and it requires the girl to make not easy preparations before and during the procedure. At first, the normal menstrual cycle must be stopped, so that doctors can control the process of secretion, maturation and collection of eggs. In this step, the woman receives medicines intended for this purpose in the form of daily injections or nasal sprays, for up to two weeks.
Later, the woman is injected with daily doses of the fertility hormone, which stimulates the work of the ovaries, for about ten days. The goal of this step is to increase the number of secreted eggs, so they can be collected and frozen. After that comes the process of following up on the development of the egg production process, as the woman undergoes successive ultrasound scans to follow up on the different stages of egg maturation, and the appropriate time to collect them.
The last procedure before the freezing process is to collect the eggs, which takes between 15-20 minutes, during which the woman is often subjected to general anesthesia. The mature eggs are collected either through the vagina, or through minute openings in the abdomen, so that needles penetrate into each ovary and withdraw the eggs. .
On average, about 15 eggs can be collected in one operation. But the number may be lower in some cases, according to the statistics of the British Fertilization and Embryology Authority. Once the egg is collected, it is placed in a liquid for freezing to protect it, and it is frozen either quickly or gradually, and finally, it is placed in containers, and then in liquid nitrogen.
When the owner of the eggs decides to use them, they are extracted from the frozen state, and each one is examined to see what is suitable for use. It is used in the same way as ICSI, where the egg is fertilized with a sperm, and then implanted in the uterus to begin pregnancy. The fertilization process is not linked to a specific age, as the uterus is not affected by the age, but the ovary is affected.
Manar.J, a woman in her thirties, has been married for about twenty years, but she has not yet been able to have children. Manar also found that the process of freezing eggs is the only way not to lose her dream of achieving her motherhood, Manar tells “Maidan”: “She got married at eighteen From my age, I got an average qualification in education, then I moved out of my father’s house to my husband’s house, I loved my husband, for twenty years is the life of my married life with him, I can only say that I loved him and I love him, a true man, who knows what responsibility, knows how He shares life, and how he takes care of his partner, he considers me his girlfriend more than I am his wife, we went through many difficult times, he traveled to work in several countries, and I was faithful to his money, which he made effort, race and age in order to obtain it, I was saving what he sent, until I was able to buy an apartment life, and a car, and even established for him the project he wanted to establish, when he returned from his travels, he found that everything he had wished to do here had been completed in the best and best possible way.
Manar adds, “After our lives settled, we started thinking about having children, which we postponed with our desire for more than seven years. I did not want my children and their father to be born in another country. I wanted us to settle down first and establish our home and life. I hoped that the children would come to find The warm house and the embrace of mother and father, but when we started thinking about having children, we discovered that my husband had a problem preventing him from having children, this moment was the hardest thing that happened to me in my life, I was born a lonely girl without brothers, and my father died in my early years, I used to see My mother plays all the roles and tries to establish a family, even if it is only made up of her and me, all of this made the dream of a large family like a fire burning in my chest, kindled over time, and I am waiting for the dream to come true until it extinguishes and calms down, but what happened is that the long years of waiting have increased The intensity of this fire, and when the dream was about to come true, we found that we had another path to follow.”
The moment of learning about the problem was very harsh for Manar and her husband. Manar says about her: “My husband’s silence for a long time, a very long silence, and when he spoke, he told me that I am free, and that he would leave the choice entirely to me, he told me to separate and marry someone else, he told me that he would fulfill all my rights and more and I would He leaves me only while I live a decent life, but I did not know what life would be like for me without him?! Yes, I desire children, but I would like him to be their father, it is worth forgiving, I will never deprive my children of their father being such a man, but age is advancing, As soon as I crossed thirty, I began to feel danger, I feel that menopause is approaching, and that nothing is faster than the days, it began to bother me, dark thoughts during the day and nightmares that do not stop at night, while making sure that none of this reaches my husband, who He was progressing on the treatment plan the doctors had drawn up for him.”
A new obsession began to affect Manar’s heart, so what if her husband was treated and she found that her fertility had weakened or had been completely interrupted, Manar says: “My knowledge of the egg freezing process was a lifeline from all the cruelty that my head faces every day and night. I can freeze my eggs and wait for my husband.” Until it is treated, without worrying my heart, I did not take long to think, I can have mercy on myself and not stay with these obsessions another day, and indeed I began to implement the procedures of the operation immediately. “
“I would have accepted death willingly and with satisfaction, life is worth nothing without this hope that makes life easier and makes night and day pass peacefully without killing me following them.” This is how Ihsan.A. began her conversation with “Maidan”, Ihsan is over forty-three years old. She lives alone in her family’s house in a village in Upper Egypt after the death of her parents and the marriage of her brothers. Ihsan did not marry, but she is still waiting for the dream of motherhood with the full energy of her heart to dream. And with all the capacity of her soul to keep hope.
Ihsan says to “Maidan”: “I used to wish, like girls, to love and marry and share with my husband the details of life, its sweet and bitter, but this did not happen, life passed, and perhaps what was left of it would not be as much as it ran out. There is a single dream, and he is the only one who gives me the ability to Life, but without him, I would have been tired in my chest and was able to conquer me, this dream is the dream of motherhood, this is all I dream about and wish for, I no longer care about the presence of a husband as much as I care about the presence of a child who forces my heart to break and does not leave me alone in the face of sadness and pain, here are many traditions Which narrows me down to some solutions, like adoption, for example.
“Advanced cancer, treatment should start immediately, do you have children? Treatment may harm your fertility and ability to have children in the future.” There was nothing harsher than the previous words that the doctor had uttered to her with rigid features, never telling that he realized that he was stabbing her a thousand and one stabs in one moment, she looked into the doctor’s eyes for a long time without the ability to speak, hundreds of thoughts racing in her head, as he spoke to her The doctor about the danger to her life, tells her that she will die if she does not start treatment.
Ihsan left the doctor’s office and has made her decision completely, perhaps death is more merciful than the life that medicine wants to lead to her. She told her that she thought about this when her marriage was delayed and she was over thirty-fifth, and as soon as she intended to start the operation procedures, the hand of fate was faster and she got married and was able to have children, her colleague said to her: “Why do you die before you see your child?! All this pain without treatment, there are still solutions other than death, even if they are financially costly.”
Hussam.M, a man in his forties, has been married for more than ten years. Hussam did not have children during the years of his marriage. Hussam told Meydan: “Of course I would like to have children. Their absence causes me pain, I do not deny this, but the greatest pain is It is to see my wife and the lover of my life as she is extinguished in front of my eyes day after day. She is visited by depression permanently, and she loses her complete desire for life and needs to make a lot of effort to get out of this dark tunnel. My wife’s health condition does not allow her to have children. We would like to establish our lives, but the disease appeared to her later and made it difficult for her to think of having children, which is the dream of her life in the truest sense of the word.”
Hossam adds: “I know that my need for the presence of children is not compared to her need for them, this need that motivates her to make all the medical attempts that the doctor tells her to be able to have children, but the spark of hope when she calms down only in her heart I see her broken and I feel lost in her eyes, it got worse after I was over thirty-eight years old, at that time I saw neither depression nor despair in her eyes.
When Hossam heard about the process of freezing eggs from one of his co-workers, he did not hesitate for a moment, he decided that this was the best solution to reassure his wife that she would be able to have children once she was treated. Preserving the eggs only preserves hope, and does not necessarily guarantee that tomorrow will come with our children, but I need nothing more than this, just reassuring her and letting her know that we can turn the clock if necessary, which we did by freezing the eggs.”
During previous press statements, Dr. Muhammad Abu Al-Ghar, a professor of obstetrics and a specialist in IVF and egg freezing, said: “The cases in which it is permissible to freeze eggs are two cases. On chemotherapy, the ovaries are completely destroyed, and thus it is impossible to get pregnant due to the interruption of the menstrual cycle. The solution in this case is to freeze the eggs, and upon marriage, the frozen eggs are untied and fertilized by her husband, then the embryo is transferred into the uterus.
Abu Al-Ghar adds: “The second case concerns any woman who has reached the age of 35, who has a state of great concern about her fertility decline by a large percentage as she enters her forties, so she resorts to storing and freezing eggs, and when she marries at what age those eggs are used.” , confirming that the storage of eggs does not have a definite period, as they are stored even for a thousand years.
It seems that this procedure has become so widespread and urgent that the Egyptian drama dealt with it in the series “Seventh Jar”, which was produced in 2017, the series presented the attempts of one of its heroines to perform the egg freezing process, Hala, the case presented by the series, was a beautiful and successful girl, all her dream only Is to become a mother, the series highlighted the multiple problems of Hala with the idea of marriage and choosing a partner, but what is clearly fixed in front of her eyes is that she wants to have a child, and every day that passes from her life makes her feel that she is almost losing her dream, so she started looking for the process of freezing eggs, and she has already started in Visit a doctor to get more information about the operation.
But what if the eggs were frozen and the girl who took this step did not find the right person to marry and share life? Will the solution then be what director Mohamed Ali and author Inas Lotfi highlighted through the movie “Bustry Ragel”?
The film was shown in 2017, and deals with humor the story of the girl Shams, an employee in an Egyptian bank, who always thinks about having children and wants to be a mother, but at the same time she categorically refuses to marry, and she is trying hard to find someone to make her dream come true through artificial insemination. , without entering the traditional and usual paths, and decides to pay the money in order to buy a father for her child and then separate from him once the child is obtained. Shams finds her lost in Bahjat, the veterinarian, who accepts her offer because he is going through a financial crisis.
Despite the medical problems he helps solve and the frozen dreams he helps save, it seems that egg freezing, on the other hand, raises deep social problems, mainly related to the nature of marriage and the family, and established concepts about the family.