“Mama…my brother wet his clothes, come and punish him”, “Dad didn’t wash his hands before eating”, “Mama…why do you lie to my grandmother?” And so many of the countless phrases you hear all day long, even if you saw him running and calling you I remembered Your friend who does not get tired of slander and slander others, and you asked yourself in a heartbreak, “Will my child grow up and become a snitch that people hate?”
Why does your child walk?
The psychologist Jean Piaget noticed that children between the ages of 7 and 11 years are able to apply logic to clear situations, but they are unable to understand the circumstances surrounding the error, which push adults to go beyond the error once and not to go over it again, what Piaget formulated in 1965 in what Known as the theory “cognitive development in children” .
In their journey, children go through 3 levels of moral development, beginning before primary school age, in which they know right and wrong, and follow right out of fear of punishment or a desire for reward.
By entering school, children over-generalize the rules they were raised on, and worry deeply if others, especially their competitors, such as their siblings and friends, do not follow them.
Children then develop a knowledge of the society around them, and the emotions behind behaviors and principles, after experiencing life experiences with their peers, and understand the meaning of empathy, compelling and goodwill, creating an experience that will not stop maturing whenever they face a moral dilemma.
When slander turns into revenge,
The previous theory explains what we were ignorant of, but the children’s gossip and their slander about others may reach an annoying extent, especially when they are skilled in causing others problems, and overlook the catastrophic mistakes that are worth, such as your child walking in front of the family with his brother because he chews gum loudly, and insists on punishing him in front of the audience but he does not tell you Something about the fire he caused in the kitchen, what is the reason?
Your child may constantly point out misbehavior other children’s because of his need for attention and praise for his actions, to earn a place where he feels special and attracts your attention, even if it’s by getting others into trouble. The reason for this may be your neglect of him, or your excessive punishment for his mistakes, and your leniency with his older or younger brothers.
The reason may also be his desire to strengthen his influence and authority at home, and to control the relationships and behavior of adults, such as betting that you will follow him to the games room, and punish his little sister, so that he looks like an angel in front of the guests if they compare him with her, and he is happy with his ability to move you and direct you as he wants.
Sometimes it may be related to your child’s inability to resolve his conflicts with his peers who behave aggressively and selfishly with him or do not listen to him, so he turns to you to protect his feelings and toys from aggression.
How do you train your child on honesty, not sedition?
1- Open a discussion with your child in situations where indulgence is more appropriate, and break it up together, such as asking him why he is angry about his little brother not following the rules of eating, and remind him that he is still learning, and is unable to tighten his grip around the spoon, and his duty to help him He is his older brother.
2. Discuss with him difference between snitching useful news, Valuchyh are eavesdropping on other behaviors and expose them to receive their punishment, but useful news is when hurt someone or break something, and so, more rushed your child to tell you something, ask him to think whether he will say whatever news Or a slanderer, and does he say it to help a person or punish him and take revenge on him?
3- Ages from 6 to 9 years are a opportunity great to learn about the needs and desires of others and understand their feelings. You can talk to him about situations in which we might break the rules in order to protect the feelings of others. No one will be hurt if we compliment Grandma, instead of hurting her if we describe her dress as ugly.
4- Always keep in mind that you do not deal more harshly with one child than the other, and that your rules are applied fairly. So if one child tells you that your rules don’t apply to another, listen to him, and check yourself regularly to make up for it.
5- Imagine with him scenes to distinguish between big and small mistakes, if your guest child sets fire to the kitchen, he must inform you immediately, but if he breaks his pen, he must solve the matter with him himself, ignoring him, or saying to him, “This is not kind of you,” then decide whether Whether or not he will play with him again, this sends a message to your child that he is free to make his own decisions and can gradually learn independent problem-solving techniques.
6. You can also remind him that it is bad to watch others if our goal is to make friends with them. If someone slanders us, we will resent, get angry and walk away from them, and then help them focus on what they need to do instead, such as having fun and playing or finishing school work.
7- Do not scold your child if he resorts to you, or describe him as a gossip so that he does not avoid talking to you, because telling him about his feelings and fears builds his confidence in you, and prevents him from keeping secrets from you.